He will be admitted for a liver biopsy in the next week or two and then will begin six months of treatment/therapy with a chemo med. We will have to give him multiple injections at home every week that will very possibly make him feel awfully sick. Oh my, it hurts even to type that. My son. My sweet little son.
To be fair, we expected the biopsy would be scheduled. We were prepared for that, but we thought the therapy might not happen, that the biopsy results would look OK and that we could put that off. I mean, he is only four. But, his doctors are amazing, and very, very thorough and care about him, so we trust their decision that he should begin the meds too.
So, we are trying to process it all. Our kids know what is going on, of course. We talk about everything. They asked, "Is Sam going to die?" We told them, "Not any time soon." That is what they wanted to know, the bottom line, so now they are fine. We are going to face it all together as a family with our ever faithful God.
So, I am relating to this God I know, and that I love, and that I trust, and that I also BEGGED not to let this happen to my son. Tough stuff! I have been down this road before though and I know I can process and be angry and have a big, big fit (and I will) and that God is plenty big enough to handle that. I also know I will continue on trusting Him. Implicitly. My only other choice is to not trust Him and that is not even an option for me. Not at all.
So, we're preparing for battle around here. Battle for our son's health, battle to keep life as joy-filled and normal as possible, battle for our hearts to stay close to our Comforter and Strength.