Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Sad, Mad, But Learning

I received my first mean racial comment last week.

It hit me out of nowhere & left me stunned & speechless. Later on, it made me SAD & MAD! I felt this chip growing on my shoulder & , for a little while, felt defensive & distrustful of the world around me. I wondered, is this how my friends who aren't Caucasian feel? How do I deal with these feelings?

I am a MOM! I can easily become a MOTHER BEAR when my babies are attacked! How can I prepare for the next time?

How can I live transparently & with an open heart of love all the while knowing that mean comments will come?

I am seeing that, even after all the thinking & researching we have done, I have A LOT to learn about becoming a multi-racial family. I'm going straight to God with it, for strength & wisdom & protection. I am looking forward to what I believe He is going to be teaching me.

Anyone have any helpful comments? Maybe things you have learned that have really helped your attitude, helped your heart?

Meanwhile, we are SO in love with our beautiful sons & are so thankful & humbled that we get to be their parents! Thank You Lord!


Holly said...

Very sad! :(

Jen said...

That is very sad and inconsiderate of your feelings and the answer to prayer you are for these little boys and them for you.
There will be struggles and I hear that it may be more so living in the south, but remember, Jesus was Jewish and adopted all of us into his family...He was our first example of interracial adoption...I think we have all benefited tremendously from that adoption.I guess keeping it all in perspective may help as well. Unfortunately, most of our kids will be the target of some bully's comments, be they racially motivated, or for whatever other trait happens to stand out to that bully.
Part of our jobs as moms is to shield our kids from what we can, but to be very aware that we won't always be able to and then our job is to train our kids solidly in who they truly are have their foundation built so solidly on the Rock that they will not be knocked down by the bullies of this world.

Christina said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Christina said...

A few years ago as i struggled to forgive someone who hurt me, a friend suggested that when i realized i needed to forgive someone, I say/pray "I forgive 'name of the person'. I release 'name of the person'. I release God's blessing on 'name of the person'." I usually don't like rote prayers. However, i have been amazed at how hard it is for me to get to the end of that without truly forgiving the person. You and your family are in my prayers. I am so excited for you and your new boys! Blessings on all of you!

p.s. i removed my first comment bec of a typo... i corrected it in this post. :-$

~Rachel~ said...

Praying for you, now and later...

Taylor said...


It's not easy and it will continue...unfortunately that's how society's SOOO sad and disheartening.

I have attached a link to a blog friend of mine from highschool. She has 2 boys of her own, has adopted 2 sons of African-American descent and is also the foster mom of 2 beautiful little girls. She has so much wisdom and insight from a Christian mom's perspective and she also has some great links if you want to email her to get that info.

Blessings to you cousin...God is so much bigger than this and He is providing your family with 2 more blessings. Stand on the solid Rock!

love, Rayanne

The Redfields said...

Patti -- I have someone who you can talk to about these issues..... just call me.

You may also be interested in this link if no one else has shared it with you: