Monday, February 8, 2010

Heartache... & Maybe Some Progress

Oh my... very rough day. Four little boy screaming fits, one screaming-in-my-face scene, one hiding under a desk at the library, seemingly nowhere to be found & scaring me to pieces, one all-out scrap between two brothers complete with hitting & kicking...but, honestly, I've dealt with that kind of "stuff" before (not that it's my idea of a fun day, but still...been there & done that.)

What was really achingly tough though was holding my son today while he sobbed & cried for his birth mom. That was very, very tough.

I told him that I was so, so sorry that he couldn't have her. I told him it was OK to miss her. We got through it...

As heart-breaking as it was, I think/I hope we might have made some progress. Together. Now he knows it's really alright with me for him to miss her, to grieve the past, to get MAD. It tore at my heart in a new way but I think I actually might (?) have done alright (Thank You God!) & I hope that we maybe are another step forward in our journey towards healing & wholeness.

5 comments:

Marsalie said...

My heat aches for him too, but am so thankful that he has such a loving and patient mom. Bless you!

Sarah said...

you are amazing. you are such a beautiful, loving mother. love you!

Shaun and Holly said...

Oh!!! Heart wrenching! Love you Guys!

The Blaske Bunch said...

Patty....sorry for the hard day~
Great post though!
I remember where we were, what my kids were wearing, the events that led up to our 35 min sobbing, almost primal crying of one of my kids grieving their bio family.....I also held my chid, we were in the bathroom, so we just slid down the wall and slumped onto the floor ....it was a HARD but good day! YOU ARE AWESOME at this attachment journey stuff...you never know when it is going to be big, small or how long in-between...but you know it is there and that is over 90% of the battle. GREAT JOB!

kim said...

Patty ~ i am facing that with Liam as well. i've got some good resources that are helpful...including a website that is wonderful for encouragement and wise advice:

http://www.sherrieeldridge.com/

grateful for others on the same hard but joyous path,

kim