I haven't been writing on my blog much lately. It's so much easier to post cute pictures. To be honest, I am often too tired or too "emptied" to think of deep thoughts (or otherwise!) to share.
I am SOOOOOOOOOO thankful for this phase of our lives & John & I really feel like it is our honor to live it, but it is hard. We have, of course, all the normal challenges of parenting & homeschooling three little ones. ..the multiple milk spills, the squabbling, the HIGH activity level, the in-home business, the mess!!!!!, but then we also have some other issues to deal with that pierce my heart frequently.
I see my kids' pain & I somehow "upload" it into my own Mommy-heart. I carry it like an aching weight. Am I blessed to be able to do it? I honestly think I am! ...but I long to see my beautiful, beautiful kids experience more healing & restoration.
And you know what? They are! It is so cool to see the little spring buds of healing slowly emerge & prepare to one day bloom. I love it!
But...it is really hard. In between the successes & the healing are many attempts to reach out, to pour in the love, to re-teach, to teach truth. Sometimes it seems like our efforts make a difference & sometimes it just doesn't . I'm not writing this to whine or complain but in an attempt to communicate what our life is like right now. I wouldn't want to miss it for the world - our achingly painful, awesome, beautiful journey. Just saying...