Thursday, October 15, 2009


All my boys are sick. :( They have a sniffly cold with fever. I don't think it's going to be serious, but they are all just "so-so" & could not go to their home schoolers' gym class today. Staying home is NOT my favorite thing but we are keeping busy with daily school lessons, playing basketball & painting.

I am trying to decide how to handle sibling "squabbling" - any advice from more experienced Moms? I don't always want to be a referee. They are already pros at bugging each other.

P.S. I got my first kiss from my 5 year old today. Pure "Mommy Bliss"! :)


Shaun and Holly said...

congrats on the kiss!!!

I will look up in my books to see what the "experts" say about the squabbling. Drives Shaun and I crazy and our kids are 12 and 14!! lol


Shaun and Holly said...

If you're dealing with constant sibling squabbling, put these tips to the test.

Set in stone your rules for physical contact. The easiest way to eliminate physical aggression is to have a no tolerance policy. But if you have a house full of boys, that rule may be hard to enforce. Instead, give clear guidelines on what you consider acceptable or unacceptable. Some parents allow wrestling, but do not allow hitting, punching or slapping.

If your kids have a tendency to be overly physical, sign then up for a sport that can help them to channel their energy. Martial Arts teach kids how to control their bodies and their aggression while teaching athletic skills, good sportsmanship and discipline.

Don't take sides. If your siblings are arguing or fighting, discipline all parties involved. It's very rare to see a fight or argument from the get go and it can be hard to assign fault when you didn't see the entire fallout and taking sides will only prolong and intensify the disagreement.

Teach your kids to argue. The ability to appropriately handle disagreements is a learned skill. Set the ground rules for arguments. Teach your kids to take turns voicing their issues, to truly listen to the other party and to never resort to name calling or physical contact during an argument.

Eliminate tattling. Many siblings' squabbles are rooted in tattling. Make it clear that you don't want to hear any tattling unless someone is going to get hurt.

Teach your kids to work things out on their own. Encourage your kids to engage in problem solving. Let them try to work out problems before your jump in.

Be consistent. Whatever rules that you establish to regulate sibling squabbling, be sure all adults in the home consistently enforce them. A rule that is not consistently enforced will be ineffective.

Remember fair does not always mean equal. Often times sibling squabbling is a result of one child feeling like they've been cheated. Instill the concept that fair isn't always equal into your kids. Teach them that what's important is that everyone needs are getting met and that can mean that each kids' needs may get met differently.

Take time for each child. When each child in a family feels like they are special to their parents, sibling rivalry decreases. Take a few minutes each day to spend one on one time with each child of your children.

Hope this helps. FOund in on the Internet! :)

Michelle said...

Well, I would give you advice--but since I have three kids and have sinced realized I know NOTHING, I'll just give you a funny story to show you you're not alone. My boys were fighting one day and I told them, "One of you needs to just do the right thing and be like Jesus." One of my boys replied to the other, "YOU be like Jesus!"

Sarah said...

mine all squabble too and wrestle and get each other into interesting "adventures"... welcome to being the mother of many boys, so happy you could join me!! :)

ps. so sweet about the kiss, little boy kisses are the best!